13 things

Written for the_lucky13

13 People you think deserve to be slapped upside the head.

1. me
2. any world leader who thinks his job is to advance himself rather than take care of the people. guess that'll be all of them.
3. all of my mates. it's fun to slap them up side the head and I'm sure they've done something deserving.
4. the bloke in the grocery store who followed me and Orli around then propositioned us in the frozen dessert aisle.
5. anyone who goes on the Bachelor.
6. Orli for letting me come live here.
7. Will for letting me hook up with Orli.
8. the inventor of the alarm clock tho he's probably dead now and no one wants to slap a skull. gross.
9. all the girls on that morning show who chatter on about nothing all the time. you know the one with that lady who was in Ghost and the old lady who interviews whoever's famous at the moment and calls them fascinating. still waiting for my call.
10. the guy who hurt Will and is out of prison now. especially if he tries coming around here.
11. little children who have tantrums in public.
12. anyone who abandons a pet in the wild and thinks they're doing them a favour.
13. David Blaine

13 things

Written for the_lucky13

13 things you hope you never hear your significant other say.

1. I don't love you anymore
2. I don't need you anymore
3. I think I made a mistake by being with you
4. I'm dying
5. You're dying
6. We've run out of food
7. We've run out of beer
8. You can't smoke in the house
9. I'm not in the mood
10. We're related
11. Lemme see how you look in this dress
12. I can't find the key to the cuffs
13. This is my new boyfriend