thanks

Jackie and Tom for your valentine's notes on that heart thing. I think one was from Orli. But I don't know who told me not to break any hearts. I hope that was a joke.

lie

Written for theatrical_muse

Ma lied to me about Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. I suppose I'm not too damaged because of that though.

My mum also told me that I could be anything I wanted to be growing up. That's not true. I can't be a doctor or a fireman or a race car driver. I can't be a professional surfer or king of the universe. I certainly can't be Robin the Boy Wonder. Those are all things I wanted to be when I was a child. I know Mum didn't think she was lying to me when she tried to encourage me to have hope about my future and feel good about having a dream. She was being a mum who loved her son is all. Parents always fill their children's heads with that sort of rubbish because it's meant to make them feel better. Or something stupid like that.

Probably the biggest lie my mother told me is that there isn't anything I could do to make her stop loving me. I know that's not true. Killing Hurting a man won't do it. Being a bastard to everyone around me won't. But loving the wrong person could. I heard it all the time growing up. So I ignored some of the things I'd feel or think about the wrong people. I did that so as not to risk her hating me. Being away from home has made it easy to forget that worry. I'm not the same person I was back then anyway. I can't be not after what I did. I know different things about myself now.

Mum said she'd never stop loving me. I know that's a lie. Now it's only a matter of me finding out for certain.