birthday

Written for 10_letters

Dear Orli and Will,

My mum told me I should always thank people for the things they've given me. I know I left sort of abruptly. Sorry about that. I don't think I really let you know how grateful I was for the time I spent visiting. I never thanked you O for the birthday gift on my profile page. And thanks again for the fantastic birthday gift you gave me in real life too. I used it on the plane so I wasn't bored or anything. I know it was quiet with just the two of you and all but this birthday was really special to me. It's the first one I spent away from home. Mum would wake me up with a kiss and a hug and tell me that as long as I was living with her I'd never be too old for that. She'd make me a lovely breakfast. She'd give me a gift and if it was the weekend we would go out and do something together during the day. She knew that when evening came I'd want to go have a good time with friends. I missed her being around for my birthday this year. But you two helped me to feel like I was home again. In my mind anyway. Can't thank you enough for that.

Sorry if my writing's messy. I'm rather tired. I'm using the stationery Mr Steiffer got me. Nice isn't it? Mum would be proud I used a proper letter to thank you both for your hospitality.

I miss you already. I know it was my choice to leave. Thank you for understanding. I should have brought you with me O.

Take care and kiss the animals for me. Neko misses her mates.

Love,
Shy

huh?

Written for 10_letters

Niki,

I've decided that I needed to sit down and write you a letter. This is for two reasons. The first is because I can think things out a bit before I say them. The second is because it will take this a few days to get to you and hopefully you won't be so pissed off at me.

You said some things to me that really hurt and confused me. Not all the stuff about me trying to get smarter. I can get that. But you made me out to be someone who doesn't care about his friends. Mainly you said I didn't care about having you as a friend. You also made me feel like you thought I'd lied to you about my life when we met. You told me I "painted a different picture" when we first spoke. As if I'd been dishonest about my feelings. You mocked my "great job" and the decisions I've had to make now. You made me feel guilty for trying to rebuild my life. Like my friend Snake says, I'm not going to apologise for being who I am. You made me feel like I had to do that.

I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry you think that about me but I don't know what you want from me. We had a great time when you came to visit. I thought so anyway. You seemed happy to spend time with me. I was happy to spend time with you. You made me want to start reaching out to be with people again. Then you seemed pissed that I'd done just that. Did you want me to cling to you or something? You were here on business. You gave me the impression you're a busy woman. I'm not a busy man. Wouldn't it be easier for you to contact me than for me to assume you'd have the time for me? Like I told you before, I'm lousy at contacting friends anyway. Never mind if they're busy types too. I'm trying to be better about that all around.

The reason I'm confused is because you got jealous and I don't know why. My friend Sage has more reason than anyone to be jealous of what I've got now and she's not. So how do I figure out when a one night stand is supposed to mean something more than what it is? Is it the guy thing? Is it because I love someone? Does it even have anything to do with the fact we had sex and then I never followed up with you? Back home I had flings with tourists all the time. None of them got upset with me for not contacting them afterwards. It's true that I felt closer to you and you got me to open up when I wasn't sure I could. So that makes this different. OK I get that. But I'm not one to assume I'm ever more than a good time or distraction for someone when they're visiting. I thought we were pretty clear that there was no strings.

I've never had an easy time figuring out women. I'm not sure I ever will. They seem to say one thing and mean something else. We men have to try and decipher what it is they want from us and we get it wrong most of the time. I'm sorry I offended you. I never meant to do that. I'm not sorry for not understanding you. I can't help that but I can try to do better if that's even what you want.

Shy

seduction

Written for theatrical_muse

I looked up the meaning of seduction to be sure I was thinking of the right thing. I knew about the sex stuff but I didn't know that it could mean just being attracted to something. Or being enticed. I guess I figured that being seduced meant you ended up in bed all the time. Not so. Though most of you probably already knew that.

Right. So with that in mind I have to make a confession. Which is rather funny once I get everything out.

I think I've accidentally seduced a priest. We started talking when I wrote about being scared of love (mind this is when I was in the process of falling in love) and he was very nice and compassionate. Typical priesty type of bloke I suppose. We started talking more and I admitted to him that I found him to be a lot more attractive than the priests I saw growing up. Then I started saying things I probably shouldn't have. I never set out to tempt him or anything but I was having fun seeing if I could. I'm not used to being able to get men to respond to me the way I'm used to girls responding to me. It's rather nice.

So my priest has put in a request to be released from his vows. I just might have led to the defrocking of a priest! It's my fault because I seduced him without ever knowing it. I think so anyway. If I believed in hell I'd be worried right about now. But I don't so I'm not. You know he told me I have a beautiful spirit. That can turn a guy's head. In a way he's seduced me too hasn't he?

meme from Snake's mun

Reply to this post with anything you'd like and I'll tell you why I friended you and two things I love about how you play your muse. The only catch? You have to repost this as well.

ten things

TEN cryptic (or not so cryptic) notes to people you know.

To make sure it's cryptic I'm not naming names.

1. You can say it all you like but I'll know I'm really missed when you wake up and wonder where the crumbs are. *grin*
2. You are so beautiful. You are so special. You are way too good for me.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Don't let me.
4. If you could see me now you wouldn't know me. I didn't mean to change so much. It couldn't be helped.
5. One day you might understand. And when that day comes I would like you to stop and realise that you might love me too.
6. I'm not sure if killing a man can be the worst thing you can do to him. If anyone can teach me that I believe it's you. And part of me believes I want to learn.
7. I want to give you my heart but my head's getting in the way. Not that one pervert. The other one.
8. Can I possibly interest you in a Shy timeshare?
9. I'm brushing up on stalking laws. Just in case.
10. Bring lots of suntan lotion. Chicks dig tans not burns.