beginnings

Written for 10_letters

Andrea,

I shouldn't be writing you, should I? But I can't stop thinking about you. I'll understand if you want to tear this up right now, but please give me a chance.

There are so many things I want to say to you, but I have no idea where to start. What can I possibly say to make things all right? I never can. You were ready to come back to me, to be with me for the rest of our lives, but by then it was too late. I know that you've kept your word and not told anyone what I did. But I also know that you can't love me anymore. Saying I'm sorry seems so weak and meaningless. I am, though. I'm so sorry for everything that happened. I'm sorry for hurting you and not being there for you when I should have been. I'm sorry for so much. But I can't ever be sorry for loving you. That's the one thing I know for sure.

I hope that you've been able to move on with your life. I don't want to think about you being with anyone else because it kills me to imagine that. Not that I have any say in that anymore. I suppose I just want to know that you can be happy one day.

I've started over. I'm in a new country, have a new job, making new friends. I don't suppose you'd think I deserve the chance to start fresh, and maybe you're right. But I'm not getting any sort of comfort from it. I miss my mother, I miss my home. Most of all, I miss you. What good is a new beginning if I don't have the things that mean the most to me?

Sorry if I'm rambling. It feels as if there are too many thoughts trying to come out at once. The one thing I want you to know is that I while I may have started moving on, I'm not sure I'll ever be over you. I'm not ready to let you go, but distance and time are going to force me to no matter how much I want to fight it.

I love you, Andrea. I think I always will. And I want the best for you. Take care, my beautiful girl.

Shy

miss independent

Written for 100songs

"Hey, Shake, who's that?" Shy nudged the man working next to him when he saw the beautiful, dark-haired young woman walking towards them.

"The boss's daughter," his friend replied. "Don't even think about it."

"She's gorgeous, man. How come I've never seen her before?"

"Probably because her father doesn't want a rat like you sniffing around." Shake laughed when Shy punched his arm. "Just telling the truth, boy-o. Don't kill the messenger."

"Get out of here," Shy grinned, nodding towards the boss's boat. "Go polish something, yeah?"

Shake rolled his eyes but took off just as the young woman approached, leaving Shy alone with her.

"Hello, Miss Sterling," Shy said with a respectful tip of his head, receiving a cool nod in return. "I work for your father. Anything I can do for you?"

"I know who you are, Shy," she said with a slight smirk, her brown eyes filled with humour. "You used to go out with a friend of mine."

"Oh, really?" Shy asked, surprised. "I hope you don't hold anything she said against me."

"Now, why would I do that?"

Shy shrugged, smiling sweetly. "I don't have the best luck with ex-girlfriends."

"And I'm sure you think it's their fault, right?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

"I wouldn't say that, no." Shy felt like squirming just a little at the way she seemed to be scrutinising him.

"Don't you want to know who it is?"

"Susan?"

She shook her head. "Try again."

Shy frowned. "Tracy?"

"Nope."

"Um..." Biting his lip, Shy took a few moments to think who she could be talking about.

"What's the matter?" Her smile slowly spread across her face, and for a moment she looked as if she was harbouring a wicked secret. "Do you date so many girls you can't remember them all?"

"No, that's not it at all, Miss Sterling," Shy said quickly.

"Andrea."

Shy furrowed his brow again. "I've never dated an Andrea."

This time, she laughed and lightly touched Shy's arm. "No, that's my name. Please, call me Andrea."

"Oh," Shy grinned, blushing a little. "Andrea. All right."

"Any idea who I'm talking about?"

"Sorry, no," Shy said, feeling chagrined by the fact that he couldn't remember the girl in question.

"Denise."

Shy winced. Denise had been an overeager admirer he'd had to let down hard after she'd refused to be let down easy. Things hadn't gone well and Shy had spent the last couple of weeks trying to avoid her.

"Ah, I see you remember her now," Andrea said with a little giggle. "You know, she's sworn off men because of you."

"No way," Shy said, eyes wide. "She's turned lesbian?"

"No, nothing like that," Andre laughed. "I just mean she's smartened up and realised that boys are not everything they're cracked up to be."

"And how would you know that?"

Andrea gave him a smug look. "I just do. I don't have time for little boys who think they're men."

Before Shy could respond, Mr. Sterling came walking down the pier towards them, calling for his daughter.

"I've got to go," Andrea said, slowly walking backwards towards her dad. "It was nice talking to you, Shy."

"Yeah, likewise," Shy said, feeling a little stunned as he watched her wave her fingers at him then turn around to go meet her dad.

"So what happened?" Shake asked, appearing at Shy's side once the coast was clear.

"Oh, man," Shy said softly, still watching Andrea as she walked away from him. "I've got to see that girl again."

"Nah, that's one pretty girl you need to steer clear of," Shake warned. "There are others you can go for."

Shy grinned. "Yeah, but this one's going to be a challenge."

===


Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independent

(Verse 1)
Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance, mmmm

Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no

Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne

So, by keeping her heart protected
She'll never, ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love

(Chorus)
What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true

(Verse 2)
Misguided heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you wanna use that line, you better not start, no

But she miscalculated
She didn't wanna end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love

So, by changing a misconception
She went in a new direction
And found inside, she felt a connection
She fell in love

(Chorus)
What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true (when love, is true)

(Bridge)
When miss independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to miss no longer afraid?
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can't that be me
I'm so glad I've finally seen

(Chorus)
What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true (when love, is true)