happy endings quote

Written for theatrical_muse

My dad was killed in front of me when I was a kid. That pretty much got me over the notion of happy endings. Wasn't until I met Andrea that I gave them another thought. Here was this smart, funny, gorgeous girl who wanted to be with me. I really thought we'd have a future together and would get married. Things turned out differently. More differently than I ever thought they would. No happy endings for me there either. I wanted to shut myself off after that and never let anyone close to me. I couldn't live like that though. I need people too much. So I had a couple of flings and I made some friends in spite of the fact that I knew I'd never really be happy.

If you're friends with me you know what happened after that. Came completely out of the blue didn't it? Now look at me all married like I wanted and living a happy life. I don't want to think about the possibility of it ending the way it always seems to. I just want to be happy for as long as I can and believe it'll last.

13 things

Written for the_lucky13

13 Things you've never seen (but would like to).

1. a Broadway play
2. Niagra Falls
3. a gondola
4. a white lion
5. sphinx
6. Gone with the Wind
7. Elton John in concert
8. every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
9. Mt. Rushmore
10. statue of liberty
11. Big Ben
12. a comet
13. Mt. Everest

dream journal [locked from everyone except nosaint_justme]

I was with Hammer and had him at gunpoint just like before. He was shouting all those horrible things at me. I looked at the gun in my hand and was going to throw it away when Andrea walked in. She asked me why I had killed her brother and I told her he was still alive. But when she looked I'd already shot him dead. She screamed and I turned the gun on her. I pulled the trigger but woke up before I saw her get hit.

hate

Written for 10_letters
Author's Notes: Written as part of his therapy with nosaint_justme to deal with some bad dreams he's having. For Shy's eyes only at this point.


Hammer,

I feel like a right git writing you a letter to tell you how I feel but a good friend of mine says it'll help me stop having these blasted dreams about you. See I've been having these awful dreams where I not only kill you but I kill Andrea too. You know I'd never do anything to hurt a hair on that girl's head. You're the one who hated me so much you didn't care if your own sister was happy. I hate you so much for that. I hate what you drove her to. I hate what you drove me to. What I really hate is that she'll never understand why I did it. I couldn't very well tell her you were the most dangerous person in her life could I? I never told her what happened. Never told her what you said. I didn't want to ruin her memories of you more than what you'd managed to do yourself. But I should have said something. I should have told her that you said you'd rather she sell herself than be with me. Killing you was the best thing I could have done for her. I know her life will be better without you. I want it to be better because the poison that is you is gone forever. I'd do it again if I could. But what if I've ruined her? What if she can't get over your being killed by the man she loved? I wanted to marry her man. But you and your family would never accept me would you? How the fuck did you think it made her feel that you forced her to say she'd been raped? She wanted to be with me but you and your father couldn't accept that she was a woman with her own mind. I loved her so much and you ruined it. I wasn't strong enough to be with her when she was going through that shit because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Yes I was healing from what you did to me but if I was a real man I would have been there for Andrea when she needed me. I wouldn't have shut her out. I left her to the wolves. I ruined her. I wish I could see you face to face and tell you just how much I hate you and wish I could kill you again. But damn it death is too good for you. You get to be at peace while the rest of us have to deal with your goddamn fall out. You get to be free of what you did. Unless there really is a god. If there is I hope you're roasting in hell. I don't care if I end up there when I die. At least I'd know you got what you deserved.

Shy