sleeping on the couch

Written for theatrical_muse

[locked journal entry]

Orlando and Will have the most comfortable couch I've ever slept on. I don't have to sleep there. I just like to every now and then. I still sort of have my own room but by the time I get there at night the animals have taken over the bed. When it's just me and Orli in bed I'll stay with him. But sometimes it feels too crowded when Will's there too. So I'll come out to the living room to sleep and just tell them I wanted to watch TV and fell asleep or something.

I love Orlando. He's the most special person in my life. I'm trying to love Will. But I can't. It's not that he isn't a nice guy but he's just not for me. I feel so bad. He gives me stuff and he cares about me but I'm not sure if it's only because I look like the man he's already in love with. I don't know what to do. When I'm with Orli I feel like I've never been happier. When I'm not with him I miss someone else so badly it really, really hurts. I wish that person could be here instead of Will. But if I want to keep Orli I have to stay here and try to make things work with both of them.

I don't mind sleeping out here anyway. The only thing that bothers me is the weird noises this house makes. I hope it's not haunted or something stupid like that.