ten things

Written for thetenspot

TEN things you wish you had said/done.

1. Not had a gun in my hand.
2. Never met Andrea.
3. Paid attention in school.
4. Figured things out sooner.
5. Been a better man.
6. "I love you."
7. "No."
8. "Yes."
9. "I really want you to have sex with me."
10. "Come with me."

TEN things that you're thankful for.

1. Neko
2. Sage
3. Niki
4. Orlando
5. Everyone on my friends list who's made me feel good in one way or another.
6. Microwave
7. Frozen dinners
8. Sunshine
9. Internet
10. Sex

home

Written for 10_letters

Dear Mum,

I hope you were able to get my last letter. I'm still afraid to tell you where I am, so you can't write me back yet. I'd love to get a letter from you, though. I miss you so much.

I've been awfully homesick lately. Seems as if everywhere I turn I see things that remind me of you and the life I had. Maybe it's time I moved somewhere that doesn't remind me so much of the islands. It's hard to start a new life when you're constantly reminded of the one you've had to leave behind. At first, it felt nice to be around familiar things. But now the familiar only makes me want to be home. I can't keep it up, I don't think.

If I had one wish, it would be to spend Christmas back home. I know this year is going to be horribly rough on you. Me too. It's just more wishing, but I would love it if you could come here. It would be impossible not to feel like I'm home if my mum's with me. It won't happen but, Mum, you have to know that I'm thinking about you every day. I'm sorry you have to be alone. Maybe one day I can come back.

I love you.

Shy

choices

Written for 10_letters

Dear Abby,

I'm a 21 year-old man who has recently begun to question his sexuality. I'm not sure the best way to go about determining if I'm really bi or just curious. I love women. I love being with women. I can't think of too many things I like better than a good shag roll in the hay with a gorgeous girl. I've recently moved to a city where there is a large gay population. I've been to a few clubs and I've started noticing some things about men that I hadn't noticed before. When I think back on it, there were a couple of times when I was younger that I had a few thoughts I probably shouldn't have but those aren't any big deal. It's all curiosity. I'm not sure if I could actually do the act with a male, but I do think about it. The most I've done with a man is kissing and it wasn't repulsive to me. Shouldn't it have been if I'm 100% straight? In a word, I'm confused. Can a person choose who they're attracted to? I'm fairly sure I'm more attracted to some than others. Men, I mean. Though, I'm also more attracted to some women than others. Is it a choice to not be completely straight? Or does everyone have a little bit of swish in them? I would appreciate any advice and/or resources that could help me out.

Sincerely,
Curious and confused in Florida

P.S. And am I risking girls not liking me if they know?

Clubbing!!!!

Usually Shy hates going out to clubs, but that's because he's never gone out with anyone he likes as much as Orlando and Will. When they reach one of the hottest gay clubs in the city, Shy can't help feeling excited and nervous all at once. The music's so loud and it's so packed, he feels a moment's panic and grabs Orli's hand as they work their way inside. He wants to feel as if he's got an anchor so he doesn't get swept up in it.

"Can we get drinks?" he shouts to Orli over the din of the music.