tears in heaven

Written for 100songs

The little boy wonders if it means anything that it's raining. This is the day he has to say his final goodbyes to his father, and the rain makes it feel as if the world is crying with him. He looks up at the man speaking, listens to the kind things being said about his dad, and can feel hot, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. The rain is making his face wet, too, and he's glad for it. At least he doesn't feel so alone in his misery.

On the day his father had been killed, the boy's mother had told him that it was his dad's time to go and his death must be part of God's plan. No matter how much it hurt, it was important to live a good life so they could be reunited in heaven one day. The boy had his doubts about that. It didn't seem fair that his father had lived a good life only to be killed in front of him by an angry monster. How did he know that he could trust his mother's words? How did he even know there was a heaven? Worse still, what if he was never allowed to go there because he had done nothing to help his father? He had hidden. He had cried like a baby and let his father die. What if his father didn't want to see him again?

A soft tug on his hand jolts the boy from his thoughts. He looks up at his mother, unsure what it is he's meant to do.

"Put the rose on the casket, sweetheart," she whispers to him. Her voice sounds weak, and the boy knows it's because she was up all night crying. He hates seeing her this way, he hates knowing that she's worried about him because he won't talk. He can't. There isn't anything for him to say just yet.

He steps forward and rests the rose in his hand on top of the coffin. It's strange for him to accept the fact that his once vibrant, loving father is now inside this wooden box, never to be seen again. That's when he decides that there isn't any heaven. There can't be in a world where God doesn't exist.

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Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

(instrumental)

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven